#25

REFLECT ON MY GREATEST WEAKNESS AND SEE HOW IT'S MY GREATEST STRENGTH.
This is by far the most difficult one to share. Maybe it will help me prepare for #95 (write a poem and read it aloud to an audience). I thought I would just post what I wrote in my journal tonight (with some inclusions and exclusions I need to make for clarity's sake)...

"My goodness! This one has been so difficult. Over the course of a couple of months, I have tried so hard to figure which weakness is my greatest strength and I feel like all I have done is focus on a variety of weaknesses. I finally decided that Kristin might be able to see a little more clearly. After all, she's known me longer than anyone else in Georgia has known me. It was well over an hour long conversation - which is a miracle since she has an 8-yr old, an 18-month old and a 36-year old. ;) (not to mention she is 7 1/2 mos. pregnant).
It wasn't difficult for her to point out the fact that my passion is one of my greatest strengths. I only see how it's one of my greatest weaknesses. There were alot of things we discussed throughout that conversation but a couple of comments really stuck out. I'm going to make myself a little (alright, alot) vulnerable here but I feel like it's necessary.

First, I recalled a time when Kristin said, "Ana, you have so much love to give and you didn't have anyone who was wanting to receive it." Second, she responded in a similar fashion when I made a comment about how I sometimes feel like I'm always the one "getting" and feel like I never have anything to give. I sometimes feel like other people are getting the "short end of the stick". (If it sounds like I'm being a little vague with these, it's because I am. All appropriate parties will understand this.) She quickly reminded me how she easily can see what I have to give. I could sense a little frustration in her voice as she told me. Not in a "for crying out loud, Ana!don't be stupid." way. More like "Why can't you see in yourself what others see?" kind of way.

She said something to the effect of "... to be so lucky as to be loved the way you love someone." And through processing with her, it hit me. God gave me this as a gift.

I am a passionate woman. I get excited over the silliest little things. I cry over what seems like nothing at all. My heart swells at the smallest act of kindness and it breaks over tiny hurts (even those that are not my own). I tend to take on other's hurts and mistakes and I always feel like I need to fix everything. It is not uncommon for me to get on my soapbox and rant with such fervor it would make grown men run to their mommas. (well, maybe not THAT bad but hopefully you get the idea). I know that God has given me the gift to love so deeply and so passionately because it is part of His purpose for me. It is so I can share His love with others who don't know Him. It is by no mistake that I have the ability to love this intensely. The only mistake would be for me to hold back and not use it for His glory.

So for anyone who comes across my path, watch out! There's alot of love headed your way!! :)"


TASK #25 ... COMPLETED 7/21