#39 and #75

#39 Go to a state I've never been to
#75 Be in two places at one time

By the time I am done with this blog, you all may be tired of hearing about Jason... Heck, IIII might be tired of writing about him. ;) Just kidding, J!

For about a month, I was waiting for the weekend of April 25th and 26th. Jason had just let me know that I needed to free up an entire day for something he was planning. Throughout the month, he gave me little snippets of hints about the day and told some of my closest friends just so he could have them aid in torturing me about it.

It wasn't until the last week that it really started to drive me crazy. I was begging for hints and getting all sorts of misleading clues. April 24th, a group of us went to dinner after a special worship service called O2 at church. By the end of the dinner, everyone at our table INCLUDING our waitress knew what my surprise was. To top it off, Jason told me that all of the clues were wrong. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! A few nights before I thought I knew what we were doing and then he told me all the clues were wrong. It was frustrating at first but then I realized it was a lot less stressful being "back to the drawing board" and only having to wait a few hours to find out.



The next morning, Jason picked me up at my house and we headed to Marietta after dropping a friend off at the airport. Yes, she knew already too!! As soon as we pulled up to the Harley dealership, I said, "I knew it." But then got nervous. After all, the only other time I had been on a motorcycle was for the 15 minutes or so to complete this list. I was nervous about being on one for an entire day (or more as it turns out). It also turns out that all of the clues were right. What a turd!! :)

We went from Marietta back home to see my son's Tball game and then headed to have dinner with his parents and brother on the motorcycle. OH MY!! The spaghetti sauce his mom made was absolutely amazing. Probably second only to my grandfather's homemade Italian gravy AND it had deer meat in it. Soooooo goood!!!!!!



The next morning the five of us headed out on motorcycles to spend the day in NC and SC. WOW... WOW... and WOW!! I took a picture at the NC state line. The next stop was a waterfall that Jason and I hiked down to the base of. It was my favorite part of the whole trip. First, we pulled over to the side of the road so I could take pictures of the waterfall. Jason noticed on the other side of the railing what looked like a 'path' we could climb down. It was fairly steep but I only hesitated for a moment when he asked me if I wanted to try to climb to the bottom. After letting him know about my fear of heights and asking him to be patient on the climb down, we were on our way. There were some parts where we had to refigure our route but we made it to the bottom. The mist from the waterfall was refreshing and the adrenaline from the climb down was exhilarating. I felt so great after we took a couple pictures at the base that I felt no fear on the way back up to the motorcycles. IT. WAS. AWESOME!

We got to the Blue Ridge Parkway and headed up to a spot for a picnic. The scenery was awesome. The company was terrific. The food was great.

The trip back home took us on a curvy road with super tall trees that provided shade to us on the ride. It reminded me of Old Bainbridge Road down in Tallahassee but greener and more spacious. THAT was my favorite part of the ride. It was at this point that I was finally feeling comfortable on the curves. I didn't feel robotic as I leaned with him at each turn. It was all one fluid motion as the bike turned left and right. I moved right along with him.

There were times when we were able to have quick chats but the majority of the time all I did was think. For me... that is dangerous. Many of my thoughts involved me trying to process things going on in my life. Not really blog worthy at this point. The rest of them were just me enjoying the ride, feeling completely content in spending the day with this wonderful man and his amazingly comfortable family. And then it dawned on me... How trusting did I have to be in order to get on the back of a motorcycle with this man, release any sort of control I had and let him drive me around for about 12 hours on a vehicle affectionately nicknamed a donor cycle? VERY trusting, you say? I totally agree. This is not like me at all.

It is such an amazing feeling to finally trust someone as much as I trust him. It wasn't one specific thing that he did to earn that trust. It was (and still is) a series of little things he did to prove to me that I can trust him. Little things like doing what he says he is going to do. I know that when he tells me that he is going to do something that he will do it. There was the "Watchmen" incident but that was resolved through an open and honest conversation. Something that we continue to do. Even about little things. With so many things that are potential struggles, it is extremely important for us to let each other know what is on our mind (whether good or bad). What is even better is that it isn't just something I think is important! He feels the exact same way.



Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I will trust in You." I have spent so long trusting God to take care of me - although it has been difficult at times - and trusting him to bring people into my life whom I can trust. My closest friends have proven time and time again that I can trust them (including J). I love that I am able to trust someone enough to give up the kind of control I did this weekend. Mostly because I'm excited to go on a motorcycle ride like that again. Jason has already caught me once doing a double take at motorcycles on the road and I have a feeling it won't be the last.


TASKS #39 and #75... COMPLETED 4/26

BONUS #2

GET A TATTOO/PIERCING



Most of you who read this know my story. You know almost four years ago was when I got divorced and a series of hurts followed that. I tried a number of things to fill the huge, gaping hole in my heart and nothing work. It wasn't until August 2006 when my divorce attorney (yes, that's right!) told me to get my butt in church or she would fire me that my life began to change.

Before that, for about 18 years actually, I only went to church with my grandmother on Mother's Day or Christmas. Don't get me wrong. I had no strong feelings AGAINST God. My family had just stopped going to church. I believed in God and Jesus but it was just a religion. There was nothing heartfelt about it. There was no relationship. I remember walking into the first church I tried with just me and my kids. Something that was unheard of at the time. I didn't have the confidence to choose which way to go to the mall (some of you know that story) let alone walk into a huge church where I knew NO ONE.

The people were nice. The music was enjoyable. BUT... there was something missing from the message. It came across as trying to make me afraid NOT to go to church, trying to make me afraid NOT to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I didn't like it. I think I've mentioned before how stubborn I am but just in case... Understand that I will fight as hard as I can to do the EXACT opposite of what you want if you try to tell me to do it. I called my friend Kristin after the service and let her know how I felt about the service. She let me know that she was going to try another church the next week and invited me and the kids to tag along.

That next Sunday, Kristin and I sat and listened to one of the pastors speak about having a global relationship with God vs. a personal relationship with Him. He told us the difference between believing there is a God to feeling His presence in our lives. Kristin and I looked at each other at the end of the service and were hooked. We both felt the pastor was talking just to us.

I joined a Single Moms small group, developed some good friends whom I still have today and began to see some amazing changes in my life. The one area where I still struggled tremendously was trusting God to take care of my heart. I had put up so many walls around my wounded heart and I wasn't even willing to relinquish control to Him. May 2007 brought on changes in the small groups at church. All of the small groups were to take a hiatus for the summer. My small group leader suggested I take the DivorceCare class offered at the church. I was hesitant but did it anyway. I learned some valuable lessons but still was resistant in accepting Christ. There was still bitterness and resentment in my heart, still an unforgiving nature toward others and still an unforgiving nature toward myself. At the end of the class, in August 2007, I remember watching one of the videos. One of the ladies in the video said something along the lines of, "God does not like divorce; in fact, He hates it. But he allows it to happen because it is taking us along a path that He did not mean for us to be on." It was then that I realized I could start forgiving myself. It was around that same time that I went from knowing that Christ died on the cross for me to realizing the weight of what He did for me. I remember crying when I realized the weight of that. How much He loved ME to do that!!

A series of circumstances delayed my baptism but on February 17, 2008, I was baptised and the changes in my life have been astounding since then. I am not completely without my walls. After all, they take awhile to get broken down and God can't (actually, he WON'T) do it. He gave us free will to make all the hard-headed choices we want. I can say that the holes I once filled with temporary things of this world are now filled with the love of Christ, something that will NEVER change. And from that love, I will be able to pour out more love to others. It is such an amazing feeling. It is one that I want to be remembered of every day because I know that times will not always be as they are for me now. Things will get tough and my heart will hurt again but I know that I have the love of the Lord in my heart and He will help me pull through ANYTHING, if I let Him.

And that is the significance of the tattoo. And that is why I feel completely content to have it permanently on my body.

BONUS TASK #2...COMPLETED 4/7